Our relationship so forced and strained, neither of us appear to have any words that would ease the tension.
She tells me about her illness, and I listen with trepidation, yet some strange sense of pride - she's a fighter.
Always has been... her most admirable quality.
It's very calculated, a recap of the past year - her turn, then mine.
A quick summary for me, being weary of sharing too much that could later be used against me.
I watch the clock and have regular check-ins with myself; 20 minutes left... you're ok... you can do this.
When time has ran out, there are also no more words to say.
A polite gesture of another catch up, an awkward family Christmas refusal and I am saying goodbye.
I give her a hug and walk away...feeling numb.
The drive to see a friend seems to whirl past with time not really moving,
her comforting arms and reassurances exactly what I need.
I feel nothing.
A title... an obligation...
I feel nothing. Confusion. Slight anger.
Numb.
Done.
For now.
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