Set of 3

You know it's going to be one of those days when all before 9 am you have managed to break a glass, brush your teeth and end up with toothpaste on your forehead (how you are still not sure) and spill fish oil liquid on your hand in which the odour still lingers.
And yet why? 

Monday... possibly. 
PMS... more then likely. 
The weather... without a doubt. 
End of holidays... Ohhhh that's it! 

Every year it's the same, the sense of literal dread and annoyance.
Yet I sit here, tethering on the edge of boredom and looking forward to seeing everyone, and yet wonder why I feel so despondent. 
It really cannot be because I don't want to return to work. 
Everyone works, suck it up princess!

Sub-conciously, I think it could also be because I started the morning yearning to be creative. 
Sending my new headshots off to my old London agent and begging him to keep me in mind. 
Browsing auditions in the NYC Playbill, seeing what I COULD be going for if I was there. 
Considering that lead which potentially has dried up and I have nowhere to go to now. 
I guess, that is probably what I really want to be doing instead of creating a powerpoint for Year 9 drama. 

Artists all over the world feel angst and sadness of how they can only get so far. 
Those few that really make it probably forget what it is like and are rare to find. 
So what I feel is nothing new. 
I guess I just see another year passing and see ultimately, something that I so long for, get further away. And when people say, just chase it... you think. Yeah ok. No worries. 
How? I have to pay the bills. My life is here. How?

So now that it's out there, I feel slightly better. 
I laugh at how fickle it all really is. 
First world concern. 
Get on with it and get over it. 
You've had your set of 3 things today, it cannot get any worse!