Your questions and deadlines,
your biased and insincere attitude make me feel like a stranger in my own room.
The silence and the shuffling.
The lies and fake smiles.
I clearly mean nothing to you.
Yet if anyone asks you would conveniently tell them that I'm great,
because it suits you to 'fit the appearance'.
I feel like I can never do or say the right thing,
that I am huge intrusion to your peaceful paired existence.
And yet, despite all this... your hostility and your hesitant nature to care about someone other then your blood, I would forgive you and move on if you just gave a shit.
If you ever asked a genuine question and waited to hear the answer.
If you ever responded to my text messages about being home for dinner.
If you ever did anything that resembled motherly affection - and consistently,
just not when it suited you.
Instead I sit quietly in my room and not get spoken to.
I get nervous about whether I am home for dinner or not.
I apologise for getting in the way, in a space that should be my own.
I feel more alone when you are here then when I am literally, on my own.
I wait patiently for you to show some sort of real honesty with me.
So I will wait... continue to wait.
For something that I know, may never really come.
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