the red dirt passes below me as i peer out the window.
clouds scattered like lost doves gives me a chance to see a world beneath.
a land that i am leaving behind.
the dirt road leads to somewhere,
a farmhouse nestled on the edge of a damn or a small lake.
the rains have come; yet it still looks so dry...
so barren and deserted.
the vast road with nothing in between,
the feeling of being out on the open plains.
this is something now that i instantly yearn for.
i go to explore other countries,
yet the desire to see my own is so imminent now that it is gone.
i watch for a few minutes,
enjoying the reprieve from the cramped economy seating i find myself in.
questions start to probe the nerves i have been avoiding.
what am I doing leaving this place?
one of such majestic beauty and peace,
one of solace and comfort of the knowing.
a land that is rightfully mine and where i belong.
to seek adventures and explore -
but i ask myself for how much longer can it continue for.
how much longer do i want to be gone?
the visa says a year, but my heart and head says less.
the ache of belonging,
of being content is creeping forcefully into my thoughts..
doubt for travel, for work... doubt for the future.
yet the direction of the plane is forward,
so the decision is made. for now.
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