attention to detail

it feels like so long ago since i last saw your face.

and although i think about you often, i am beginning to forget the important things.

once upon a time, you were such a presence in my life;

your swagger towards the group, feet slight turned in.

your brimming smile, almost too big to concentrate.

your hairiness - everywhere, that we often used to joke about, yet you were so proud of.

your contradictory laugh, an unexpected giggle compared to the 'manly man' you were.

the way you would protect us girls, giving advice on men and dating when we couldn't understand the way they worked.

the reassurance you would give me that I would find somebody else who would appreciate me for who I was.

your drinking binges at my house, often ending in passing out in some mysterious location we would never know about.

until the next morning.... when we would realise you were curled up somewhere random; a sauner, under the bunk beds, behind the couch... in the cupboard. what i would give to find you somewhere odd again.

the years are rolling by, and i can't help but think where you would be right now.

we are all scattered around the world, different stages in our lives.

babies and husbands for some, travelling for others, living life by the surf or the city...

and you remain that constant age, stationary in our memories.

time makes them fade however, and now i would give anything for just five minutes again.

i need to refresh them and remind myself of the important details, the things that i never want to forget...

yet seem to be because of - what i'm not sure.

so i think of you today, as i do every other day, and remember that last time.

your swagger and your giggle, your hesitant cuddle goodbye...

i replay them, paying extra attention to detail, hoping for them to be stronger next year.