Another restless night. More tossing and turning.
I know what time of year it is and why, yet I try and find other reasons.
Stress from work.
Brain fuzz from uni.
Endometriosis that prevents me lying on my tummy.
Toilet breaks.
But all this is fruitless.
It's another year ... The pumpkins, the gardenias... The full moon tell me so.
And yet for some reason I thought it wouldn't effect me so much this time.
After all, it's 11 years. No big deal.
Yet it is.
You'd be 28 this year... I wonder where you'd be.
More weddings and babies popping up.
Our 10 year reunion and the burns boy is still drunk.
Contemplating big purchases, extended study... It's all more additions to our timeline.
Yet yours remains still ... You're etched in my brain in a newspaper dress and your beaming grin.
I wonder when the details will begin to blur.
No time soon I'm guessing.
So I'll think of you and shed some tears.
Have a drink for the friend I have lost.
And stare at that moon knowing you we're looking at it too, your final glorious moments here.
I can only hope that it bought you the same peace and comfort it brings me tonight.
Missing you and knowing you're around me sometimes...
Just watching over us in the way that you would want.